Title: Candy Wizard. Speech Bubbles: *I feel like people are always thinking: 'Oh, so you run a candy store...' *'...Tell me more about how you're not a pervert and not even that into children.' Captions (Left, Right, Down): * Has a tendency to ramble and bumble on, but is seldom interrupted as he has a knack for unknowingly saying the most shockingly inappropriate things. * Often unconsciously hums "Pure Imagination" and believes that a top hat should be mandatory for anyone who makes or sells candy. * He became diabetic early in his career and many of the choices available at his store reflect that his main requirement in candy is novelty and the um... hmmm... uh... interesting? The few sweet items he carries in order to keep in business ironically only add to his bitterness. * As the conventional wisdom says: 'Horizontal Stripes to look taller, Vertical to look fatter, and Diagonal when you either don't care enough to try and fool anyone or are hoping to make your goods look better in comparison.' * Candy is his career, but his true passion is Novelties. He has a small back room behind a beaded curtain where he lets the select few view and hopefully purchase items from his collection. No children are allowed (nor their "perpetually sticky hands"). His personal Duck Shoes and Light-up Fireworks Tie are not for sale. Candy Brand: Whatsits Facts: * Secret Shame: Has lost 2 toes to Folly Raunchers. * Life's Ambition: Inspire a Bobble-head Statuette of self. * Familiar: Finnish Fish. * Alignment: Bitter Sweet. * Method of Transportation: Look for the car with the most bumper stickers- and just to be sure, check that there are at least 20 hula girls hot-glued to the dash.