Title: Yard Sale Wizard. Captions (Left then Down, Right then Down): *Deep forehead creases from years of looking at things skeptically until the seller lowers the price. *Front "Business" fanny pack contents: -Change, which he will be paying with exclusively; -Every conceivable kind of battery; -Solar calculator to frown at as if paying $0.50 for an action figure might mean being late on his mortgage; -Jeweler's loupe; -Measuring tape; -Collapsible bag in case of motherlode; -Map to today's sales/conquests for some reason drawn in Tolkienesque style (driving directions on back); -Detailed list of everything he is looking for including measurements and footnotes. *Rear "Personal" fanny pack contents: -1972 Folkskart Beetle with opening door- purchased at his first yard sale at the age of 8; -Pre-owned chapstick- purchased for $0.10 two years ago; -Name: Rodulfo. Occupation: Used Car Salesman. Hobbies: Hiding like a scamp, eating jam; -Various condiments, horded; -Emergency chocolate; -Wig to boost confidence during pre-sale motivational self-talk; -Aging Polaroid family portrait-purchased for $1.05; -Lock of hair, $0.08, smells faintly of strawberries, summer, and an innocence not lost- but forgotten. Facts: *Familiar: Hedgehog Chia Pet. *Favorite Movie: Goodwill Hunting. *Greatest Fear: Somehow missing a copy of Dr. Jumboman #2 by not arriving at the right sale at the right time, or not going through the right stack- or what if they'll only take Deutschmarks? *Sworn Enemy: Anyone or anything that gets between him and a bargain- especially other Yard Sale Wizards. *Favorite Historical Wizard: Benjamin Franklin; "A Penny saved is a penny earned." *Favorite Book: The kind that comes in a large box for $1.00.