Title: Ice Cream Sandwich Wizard. Captions (Left Then Right): *The stains on his clothes testify to his diet. Ice Cream. Mustard. Ketchup. They also corroborate "Ice Cream Sandwich Origin Theory One"; the I.C.S.W. is an ancient figure (see wrinkles) that has appeared various mythos since the dawn of civilization. Shakespeare plucked his likeness from the collective subconscious and depicted him not as a mere man- but an "Incarnation of Summer Eternal" or perhaps even The Son of The Sun; subsisting only on the traditional summer fare of "hotte doges" and" sandwiches of creamed ice" "all thee whilst beaming upon thee skybound giver of liffe". Less popular but related theories submit the I.C.S.W.; as The Son of The Sun might be intended as a Christ allegory. Or that he might be not an "Incarnation of Summer"- but an "Incarnation of Sumer", where, of course, The Sun was worshiped and both hot dogs and ice cream sandwiches were invented. *His hearing shot from years of watching old recordings of Men's Olympic Swimming too loud, his eyesight gone from beaming too often at The Sun, his sense of smell stymied by mustache debris, and almost all of his tastebuds dead- only one of the Ice Cream Sandwich Wizard's senses remains of good use to him. He feels the wind rustling through what remains of his hair and loosening the drool from his jowls. He feels the divine squishiness of a partially- melted ice cream sandwich on his bare gums. He feels the warmth of The Sun as he smiles toothlessly up at it. And I daresay The Sun beams back upon him, probably wearing sunglasses because The Sun is a pretty cool guy. I.C.S.W. Theory #2: He is the external interface for an extraterrestrial life form that strongly resembles a black bag with wheels. Note the bag is always mysteriously unstained- even pristine. Also, while he claims that he takes them out of the package to "save room"- might he be unsheathing the hot dogs to feed his master directly?"