Title: Eyepatch Wizard. Speech Bubble: Show me to yer organic bird seed and I won't show ya' the tip a my blade! Hah ha hah ha ha! Captions (Top to Bottom): *Alternate eyepatch/jumpsuit colors (always matching): White- for formal occasions (hides the bird poop stains); Purple- color of royalty (motivational speeches, spa visits); Peach-color of peaches (baby showers, bot-mitzvahs); Rocket Ships- pattern of awesome (for snoozin' n' canoodlin'); Red, White, and Blue- kept in a dry cleaning bag all year until the 'Fourth of July Smackdown Open Wrestling Challenge'; Butter- not a color, he just likes to coat himself in butter sometimes. But hey- who doesn't? #summerfun #summerlovin #happenedsofast #ididntgetagoodlookofficer *Something about his demeanor makes the rubber rain boots that he wears year-round seem reasonable. Something else about his demeanor has caused no one to ever ask about their purpose. Facts: *Occupation: Unknown. He might be a pirate, a current or former cult leader or member- or a mechanic with flair! *Favorite Charity: Hugs or Else. *Credit Card Color: Tooth Gold. *Latin Name: Zippernious Yarrman. Contents of Pockets Imagened vs. Actual from Top to Bottom: *Flintlock pistol, circa 1642 vs. Swimsuit Yarrbie, circa 1989 *Fingers vs. Fingers *Spare Hook vs. Skybird Arrlines 'Thank you for not being a terrorist' award *Pistol Shot & Tinder vs. 'Lucky' Teeth & Wig *Wallet vs. Book of enemies (most names Xed out)