Aspariguess a-spare-I-guess noun 1. The final portion of an unwanted vegetable. 2. Vegetable matter whose only recognizable trait is durability. "Would you please pass the aspariguess? I must dispose of it- either in the refuse or by passing it through my corporeal form; so that it can cease taunting me, the harbinger of wasted and disgusting nutrition." -Rudabega, Heather. "Dark Roots and other Haunting Tales for Vegans".